My Year of Celery and Carrots and Onions

For Christmas, my brother-in-law gave me 
a set of twelve stainless steel pots and 
pans because I told him I didn’t have any 
large enough to scream into.

Some days I cannot leave my apartment,
and most days I cannot stop screaming, 
but if I can just make it to the kitchen, 
some days I can make soup.

My sister emailed me a recipe for a salad 
to make when your angry, the first step 
is smashing cucumbers with a rolling pin
the subject line was “thought of you…”

Sometimes it feels like there is an ocean 
of sadness just behind my bellybutton,
and there is almost always spinach 
wilting in the bottom drawer of my fridge,

on Saturdays, I like to make Cream of
Vegetable, an attempt to remedy both. 
Carla Lalli Music says you only need four 
ingredients to make a meal, olive oil, 

lemon, salt and pepper. I only really need 
a bad day, or two, or a week. Lately, I cannot
write poetry, but I can chop onions and garlic, 
let them sweat in the bottom of a brand new pot.